no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
