So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize