I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I love you. Go after that dick
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
