i permit you to call me
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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