I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
