FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
