Sry I called you an 8
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
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