Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Randomize
