he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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