I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
