Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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