my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
