1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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