whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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