YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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