this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
