I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
