For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
