i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Too much gin, very little bucket
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
