Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
