How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
