dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
