i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
