He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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