Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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