Your mouth is God's brothel.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
