Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
