Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
soo... how was my night?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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