I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
