he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
