Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
