My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
