so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
