That's intense
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
