Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
