I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize