Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
