you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
They left me at home... I'm a liability
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
