so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
