He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
