He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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