Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
So squirting runs in the family.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
