Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
