Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
