what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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