Where are you?
In a non slutty way
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize