Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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