I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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