3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I am spending my child support on dildos
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
