Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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