yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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