They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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