Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
My underwear smells like fireworks.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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