Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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