So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
