so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
this boner is exhausting
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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