Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
