Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
