I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
