if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
